The dark side of the cuddle hormones is aggression

The try, try, again – thanks for the love and attention but it is driving me and my family crazy. I love my dog and am not healthy. International community of academics – please take my academic findings leapfrog to the next logical place you would take it to prove evidence based value in the information. The US is in a odd place right now. Please don’t let it hold back the world’s academic understanding of physiology. Nixon wanted to suppress blacks and hippies with his listing of marijuana as having no medial value. Please don’t let racist and inequal policy affect our modern treatment of healthcare. –

Regarding my mental health – it is rational at times and when I’m “triggered” or have run out of my medication than I’m not rational, and not myself, and get stuck in patterns of behavior or speech that are not rational and include my worse fears. If I were being observed it would likely be frightening – seek therapy is good advice – for any observers – countertransference/transference of symptoms can be a problem in counseling type settings and may affect others who spend time with someone with mental health symptoms. I included resources in my my new website in several places because I wanted the information to be right there available at that point in the text in case the reader had just reached the point of acceptance that they might benefit from seeking help. We don’t know what we don’t know until we suddenly just learn it – and then it is nice if the next step is obvious.

But overall I’m fine and never asked for help except for a rhetorical request for editing advice – which I received and it was helpful. The point about “I’m fine” is that this is a lifelong change, I can do things to be more stable and less likely to be triggered but the underlying health change seems to be permanent – just “trying harder” is not going to change anything. Eating regularly and not being stressed by crazy nonsense does help reduce the chances of being triggered. Thanks.

My goals are academic and have always been academic – share information about the benefits of magnesium for many chronic illnesses and mood problems. An office and IT support is all I wanted. I’m sorry if my health issues and inability to travel easily have been confusing. Writing is how I organize my thoughts well and then it is easier for me to work with individual  needs once I have my notes in order. My health is much better with the information that I have learned on my own then it would be if I had left myself only in the care of the current medical industry. My academic findings are critical to our future health – please academics who have some common sense – please ignore the utter nonsense of current politics and just get this information moving along the publish or perish track towards actual patient care. There is allegedly video of my personal life for seven years funded by US taxpayers and it is really embarrassing to the public that I exist – so leave my out of your academic work – just move the ideas the next rung of the relay race.

/The too long didn’t read – love and caring may be feelings that can lead us into hurting strangers out of some misguided sense that we are helping someone else who seems to be in need of help and who seems more in need of help than the person being sabotaged. Sabotage of other countries because we feel “patriotic” to our own country is still sabotage of another country though, and it would be considered a war crime if there were people able to hold the U.S. accountable for the actions performed by our nation. Be cautious about patriotically supporting policies that are harmful to other nations just because our current administration suggests a course of action.

My concern ever since I started writing online is and always has been about our planet and its long term survival. Helping individual humans be healthier with simpler strategies simply helps produce less waste for the planet – it’s math. Our human actions are having devastating and long lasting consequences on the planet, and ecologically and politically are leading to worse risk and more terrorists. People who are attacked are going to work harder to defend themselves – or maybe if we spend enough borrowed money, eventually they may all give up or all be destroyed but are we, as proud patriots, supposed to then feel proud of our “superior” and “patriotic” ability to destroy others?

On an individual level my own story has been inflated and lied about in positive ways and in negative ways at different times. I’ve overshared about myself and my life at times in an attempt to correct misrepresentations. It tended to not go well – but creating a kickball might be fun to distract the voters and smear political topics but is it a good use of taxpayer money and might it not be causing more harm to occur to other women because an example is being made? Personally, yes, I have issues, many, and have since I was a baby, a difficult baby in some ways, but I persevere. Any day when I can breathe out of both nostrils at the same time is a good day. Any day without a migraine is an excellent day – lately I’ve been having mostly excellent days. I have sought a variety of medical and psychiatric evaluations to try to figure out why I tended to be slightly sick most of the time and it has helped but reading was also important. In a nutshell though, any speculation about my mental health that includes narcissism is false. Personality disorder, No Origin Specified, is one of my diagnoses and I asked for clarification. All the psychiatric professional offered as detail was that I showed childlike body language when I laughed and emotional lability – fleeting changes between emotions -also common in children.

It can help a team bond to have a common foe but do you really need to create enemies out of a person who just was trying to offer a personal account of successfully recovering health with diagnoses that are not well understood? not everyone has a disease or condition that is common enough for funding to be available – but they should still have a right to some level of individualized health care – care targeting their  body’s condition and its needs. /

Regarding love and two different types of hormonal receptor activity:

Two different variants of the vasopressin and oxytocin receptors have been identified in humans and a few other animal species. One of the variants of each type was found to be associated with more aggressive behavior of the research participant’s on the behalf of other people who were portrayed as being in need of help in a simulated “game” scenario – would you help one person even if it meant you had to do so be harming one of their competitors?

The study results showed that the people with one type of receptor on average would help the competitor who seemed to need help even if it meant sabotaging one of the competition with a substance that would cause physical pain.   Read more: The Neurohormones Oxytocin and Vasopressin Explain How Empathy Leads to Aggression. (

Protecting loved ones is important and helping strangers in need of help is also important, however within my value system sabotaging competitors or causing people pain on purpose is not a valid response to any typical scenario that I can imagine. I’m sure if there was some end-of-the-world-if-you-don’t situation then I would likely try to save many, even if it meant harming one, but just to help someone win a race? – no way. I have been working very hard for a long time actually on the topic of ways to help prevent the end of the world -as we know it- and at great expense of myself and it turns out also at the expense of my dog’s health and of other family members who have also suffered increased stress. But the goal is worth it – better health for humans would also be healthier for the planet.

I love my dog and I care about humanity but I also care a lot about the planet and all of its life forms – we can’t buy a new planet and terraforming other planets or building a dome on them is still in the early stages so I wouldn’t count on living somewhere else soon. Working with others towards developing and using more sustainable methods for supporting life here on Earth is my short term and long term goal.

Overly aggressive vasopressin and oxytocin receptors seem a little too aggressive on behalf of complete strangers, at times, to me at least.  Fighting tooth and nail to protect my children is the motherly form of the hormonal aggression that was being measured in the study scenario, but in the rsearch study the scenario presented the question of how much would a study participant be willing to do to help a stranger in need, not their own children.

I would do a lot to help someone but not necessarily sabotage someone else. Equal rights doesn’t mean hold back one or a few, so that the others can catch up and everyone will be at the same place – say at a level that is average or below average – but now designated as all equal “winners.” The dictionary definition states that “equal rights” is the concept that all people will be treated equally under the law. (yourdictionary)

Equal opportunity to me means that everyone who wants to try is allowed to try and allowed to access education or tools that will be comparable to the competition’s. If the game scenario allowed you to help the competitor in distress buy a better track suit or pay for a refresher course or coach, then I would definitely do that for the person – but cause pain to a competitor so a weaker competitor could win? – no way.

Take home point – sabotage is not nice for most reasons or occasions that tend to occur.

In business settings I’ve done fairly well, only two customer service type complaints in fifteen years in a job with daily customer service type tasks. I’ve helped save lives of patients whose parents were extremely grateful, and I can certainly appreciate the strength of my own maternal love – but love is also universal in my opinion.

I believe in a collective unconscious type cosmos of energy that includes all of us and all of our past ancestors in the form of loose paired quarks. Quarks are like the smallest fragment of an atom that can still include all of its information, like a computer file or a book or recipe card. Loose quarks can be entangled with other quarks somewhere else in space – and possibly somewhere farther away in time if we are viewing time as something the planet orbits slowly around and dips in and out of its own previous paths. Quarks might be anywhere physically on that orbital path but entangled with another quark that is physically somewhere else. Heaven and hell are fairly universal concepts across human cultures of this world and they might both be represented within the collective unconscious of a cosmos energy pool made up of something like loose quarks or some other energy that we don’t understand yet. What exactly it is like would likely vary based on the person’s expectations but there have been some consistent stories shared by people with dissociative or near death experiences.

People who have had near death experiences share very similar stories, and even with people from different cultures sharing the similar stories. Our after death experience would likely be connected to our physical life and the emotional bonds we made with our family, friends and whatever communities we became part of – whether church or social or business. Quantum entangled quarks might form with these emotional bonds and after death become loose quarks that might remain entangled with the friend from the physical life connection. We don’t know what we don’t know until we open minds enough to ask questions, seek experiences, and learn from them. If we never ask questions or suppress those who do, then we will never learn what we don’t know.

Towards the end of this post I return to this topic of the possibility of a “collective unconscious,” quarkian pool of energy with the story of Wilhelm Reich and his discovery of a physically measurable type of energy he called orgone energy. Might it include loose quarks? I don’t know, I’m not a quantum physicist and just like to read about it, but it would be interesting for the research to advance so I could read more about it. Might it include brimstone and pitchforks, or angels and harps? – that part might depend on what the person expected before they became a diffuse loose quarkian energy field – the suggestion I’ve read a few places is that it is a mixture – arm your spiritual strength now and be ready to find out later is my attitude. I personally am looking forward to finding out and am not worried about pitchforks – I’ve saved lives so if I hadn’t stuck around to do that then those people wouldn’t still be here or wouldn’t have had a few more years in their physical form. Some were very grateful for my help and others oddly weren’t,  so I learn, some people need to be in control even if it means refusing help.  You don’t know what you don’t know until you learn it – but you can only lead a horse to water, you can’t make it drink.

A woman who has a successful career as a “psychic” shares relationship tips regarding the four biggest myths that she feels Americans have about relationships and which have made a lot of money for her. The first, and most important point she felt was in helping hearts to recognize that love has to start first within oneself, for oneself before love for another can ever really “work.” Sharing trade secrets? maybe she is hoping for some different types of questions from her callers in her own future. Whether you believe in reading the future or not, “psychics” are good at reading people, The Four Worst American Myths about Relationships: (huffingtonpost).

A few more specific details that people may view as possibly being bad for a relationship but which actually might strengthen it are discussed in an article on businessinsider:  7 Things You Think Are Bad for Your Relationship but Aren’t.

Romantic comedy themes may be part of the problem for the segment of the population that has watched them at some point during their formative years (most of us?). A study found the material in romantic comedies normalized stalking behavior:  Romantic Comedies: When Stalking has a Happy Ending: (theatlantic)

An excerpt from the article provides a definition of “stalking“:

According to the National Institute of Justice, “stalking is conservatively defined as ‘a course of conduct directed at a specific person that involves repeated (two or more occasions) visual or physical proximity, nonconsensual communication, or verbal, written, or implied threats, or a combination thereof, that would cause a reasonable person fear.’”  (theatlantic)

If someone said to me, “you seem familiar, like you’re from the movies,” my initial reaction is somewhat literal – my story does in some ways remind me of comedies I saw during my younger years – did someone follow me around and write it up? No, probably not, it is much more likely that we all have something in common with romantic comedies – if we are honest with ourselves.

However, possessiveness and overly aggressiveness does not seem at all romantic to me at least. It seems frightening and demanding and controlling, and when it is publicly obvious attention it seems to increase jealousy or aggressiveness in some observers.

My personal health habits are personal but in the past I have written about strategies that I’ve found beneficial for pain relief and mood benefits because as a health educator I believe in offering help to those who might be interested when possible. Sexual health and sexual release have health benefits for mood and pain control, however discussing anything about intimate health seems to be a problem for many people. Fundamentalist cultures prefer no mention of *** at all.

The psychic hotline at least has someone who talks and listens. Crisis hotlines can also be helpful.

Over the last few years I haven’t been crying over relationships, I’ve been crying over the public health epidemic that could be resolved so easily if we were only allowed to admit that our support of corporate profit in agribusiness and in the medical and pharmaceutical industries has hijacked our ability to be healthy in the way our grandparents were. They were able to choose healthy foods and habits and actually achieve health by doing so instead of it not working.

Too many people are frustrated with “health advice” now – sometimes rightly so because it turned out to be wrong, but more often now the health advice is not working because most of the nutrition advice is based on older research that used foods that are no longer the same as what the original research would have used prior to around the 1980’s. Some significant changes in the food supply also occurred in the 1950s and 60s. Those older foods likely promoted health in a way that the comparable modern “food equivalent” is no longer truly equivalent in being able to promote. (antioxidants and vision) (disease prevention) The chemical content is different now – slightly or significantly depending on the toxins involved. However that is a corporate trade secret. Some whistle blowers have tried to draw attention by revealing collusion at regulatory levels but the news doesn’t cover that sort of news.

One summer, anecdotal evidence was provided to me regarding the unhealthiness of the U.S. food supply when three college age students all went to visit Europe for the summer. They all left looking slightly pale and pudgy – watery bloat plus a little overweight, pale slightly anemic skin – and they all came back looking pink and radiant, happy, excited and curious, and glowing sparkle in the eyes, and thinner and more muscular instead of puffy looking. It took about three to four weeks and all three were looking a little pale and puffy again, the sparkle in the eyes was a little dulled – magnesium deficiency would cause all of those symptoms and could be caused by the effect of glyphosate on the CYP enzymes which are involved in the metabolic pathways of vitamin D, magnesium and  calcium. (Nutrients for healthy eyes.)

Magnesium deficiency can also increase the risk of aggression and violence.

Denial of reality doesn’t help us recognize underlying issues and that prevents or inhibits our ability to stop doing whatever it is that is causing the problem.

If we want peace, then providing a food supply that promotes peaceful nutrient balances in our bodies would be helpful for supporting the goal of having a peaceful society. If we want war and chronic illness for the purpose of corporate profit then saying so would save time at least.

Pesticides and herbicides were used prior to that point in time but not quite to the same extent, especially since the introduction of chemically resistant plant species. Going farther back though, some of our grandparents would have had baked goods without bromide and would have had more iodine in their diets prior to the 1950’s. If our bodies don’t have enough of an essential nutrient then whatever substitute that is similar and is available may be used in place of the missing nutrient, but our current medical system isn’t testing for that let alone admitting it is an underlying problem of many types of illness. See Dr. Brownstein’s work on iodine, and the halides.

Our health care system is too expensive because too many people are critically and chronically very ill. It’s a basic math problem – health insurance is based on more healthy people paying in to cover the few unhealthy people – it used to work. Now the balance has shifted too far towards expensive care of many unhealthy people and expensive care of managing “prevention of chronic disease by use of expensive medications.” Providing a food supply and medications that are toxin free and support our own innate ability to fight disease and repair damage before it becomes chronic would be more effective and likely be more cost effective even with the lost profit for some health care and agricultural businesses.

After reading and learning more about human nature and news cycles I’ve stopped crying because I’ve learned that news spreads. I got hopeless for a little while because I saw how many alternative practitioners there are all trying to share the good news too, and getting mistreated for it. Exactly how fake or real the news about any topic these days varies quite a lot and it is not always clear which news is real or fake anymore. But good news travels — and bad news travels faster. (2016 in graphs)

The research that confirmed my gut feeling that news travels, eventually, is from the early 1900’s. It was found that roughly 85% of success in business is related to personality and charisma and only 15% to technical ability. Now my offer of closer to 85% technical ability and 15% personality and charisma is just not adequate – for the majority, (or 110% technical ability and -10% personality).  (Carnegie Institute)

However, what I’ve observed to define “capitalism” is that the 85% personality and charisma is really equal to connections and capital  that sometimes just needs to be spent so it may not even end up purchasing 15% technical ability. It might just get spent on a feel-good-end-of-year-use-up-the-budget party or poorly thought out purchase because the end of the year is a busy time with end of the year reports and inventories to complete. So creatives create because they need to get the creation out of their head or their brains get squeezed with too many creative thoughts (roughly) and capitalists with 85% capital and connections spend money on whatever happens to catch their attention and that of their consumers, and consumers give them profit for something with 15% technical ability and a pretty package.

So beta phase free software early adopters get to try out stuff during the early phase before it reaches the 15% technical ability, 85% personality phase. (The help-yourself-creatives-are-nuts phase – have fun.) Eventually, corporate profit protectors figure out how to buy innovative inventions and prevent them from reaching the public, or the innovative invention is suppressed, so there aren’t enough early adopters to adapt it to their own uses and help it spread to mid level success or to widespread acceptance where it enters into production by the corporate profit system. (Roughly.)

In grade school we learn how evil terrorists are capable of magically disintegrating skyscrapers with an airplane – in architect school, thank goodness, physically anomalous events are not part of the curriculum and sky scrapers are designed based on actual physics. So should grade school children who live in sky scrapers be afraid of airplanes? or terrorists? or thankful for architects? or be afraid of flimsy investigative committees?  ( (

When we have a bad relationship with the truth then we all suffer. When we have a bad relationship with ourselves then any other relationship is likely to be difficult.

When you have oxytocin or vasopressin receptors of the less aggressive type then you might actually be happier with a person who also has oxytocin or vasopressin receptors of the less aggressive type.  I will look forward to being an energy spirit eventually. Love is in the air in the form called “orgone” by a scientist whose career was ended and books burned – literally here in the US in the 1950’s. The research itself was never questioned though. A product was considered unsafe and pulled from the market, politics may have bee involved as he had made significant progress on being able to manipulate weather systems and the government was interested in that research. It was only discovered though, due to earlier research he had performed investigating what happened with energy patterns during sexual release. Sexual health was the early research which led to the discovery of the “orgone” energy. Excess energy in our bodies may build up and  it may end up feeling better after the excess is released during sexual climax. The level of energy that was discharged was found to be greater when the partners were in love versus not in a loving relationship. (Wilhelm Reich)

People need people – people they are compatible with rather than trying to make it work based on the four myths about relationships Americans tend to share, (huffingtonpost), – and the Wilhelm Reich research also suggests that a sex IA robot will be unlikely to completely fulfill the physiological benefits that a real person would likely be providing in a real loving relationship. Short term relationships between people with oxytocin or vasopressin receptors that are less overly aggressive might reach a “loving” response upon shorter acquaintance than people with the overly aggressive types of receptors.

Music can help with soothing pain (sciencedaily).  Music and thinking about friends and helping others, learning something new, and many things  can help boost dopamine which has positive mood effects. Doing new fun things together can help a couple keep more early stage levels of hormones active in their relationship and bodies. The “Falling in love” stage of a relationship has the sense of newness when everything is a new detail to learn about the other person and so having a routine date night where something new to both individuals is planned might help by physically providing a chance fro them both to learn something new about each other while learning something new about themselves  – can they do whatever it is that the event or class involve

// However I’m fairly sure that I’m not an average woman. I needed help with my family surviving and with observing role models for healthier relationships and with my own unmet emotional needs. A divorce would have been the recommendation by society but in a weird situation it would likely have been the wrong decision for my children. In reading more in trying to understand what happened better I found that animal studies do show two distinct types of mating. The difference is based on oxytocin receptor activity in the females and vasopressin receptors in the males. In species or individuals with monogamous pair bonds a getting-to-know-you phase is needed before an increase in the feel good hormone will be produced. An epigenetic change occurs in the pair after the getting to know you phase (just 6 hours in this study, this isn’t the one I was looking for though: , these authors may be the original source, I read about it in a book. Paywall: Monogamy or serial monogamy would be comfortable for those types. In the not monogamous species or individual the feel good hormone will be produced with any friendly contact – which likely doesn’t mean at random but with some chemistry between the two. Polyamory of some type might be comfortable for those types, more accepting of the natural feel good response with a variety of special friends.

More oxytocin (or vasopressin) is better than too little. Although the feel good hormones have also been found to lead to aggression against non pair bonded individuals – the aggression of a mother protecting her cubs. The research on the difference in types of pair bonds found that the monogamous types were more likely to sabotage someone if they thought it might help someone who seemed in need of help. I would fight to protect cubs but I wouldn’t sabotage a race just to help a stranger who seemed in need of help. I’d give them better running shoes if I had the money or some other aid like that but I wouldn’t sabotage their competition for them.


  • Disclaimer: Opinions are my own and the information is provided for educational purposes within the guidelines of fair use. While I am a Registered Dietitian this information is not intended to provide individual health guidance. Please see a health professional for individual health care purposes.