My individual therapy with a child trauma counselor helped guide me to my suppressed feelings of unworthiness. Deep down I felt bad, naughty, undeserving of comfort or touch. Not at any fault of my parents. I did get hugs and kisses and loving guidance through life but we didn’t talk about our feelings much. I grew up eager to please or eager to avoid attention so I could continue reading my latest book in peace.
Negative messages that you heard your entire life can be hard to change. Reading new statements can help retrain the old negative message into a healthier one. Daily review of the new self talk statements can be done while brushing your teeth if the statement is on an index card by your mirror, or if it’s posted in your car, or by your phone. I wrote them all in a spiral notebook of index cards and would flip through the whole set a few times a day. I haven’t read them in a while and I think I should start again – they are helpful.
I am posting my modified statements about health and eating based on the recommendations for rewriting your internal self talk,
|What to Say When You Talk To Yourself: Amazon Link .|
The book did have eating related examples but some of them were deprivation oriented. Retraining disordered eating habits requires focus on relearning hunger and fullness signals. Deprivation and controlled eating tend to backfire and lead to worse binges in my experience and based on my review of research in the field of disordered eating. The body has to have sustenance and just stop all use, “cold turkey” type strategies do not work the same for substances that are essential to life. We have to eat food for daily fuel and rebuilding purposes and can’t just stop eating “cold turkey” in the same way and some other addictions may be given up 100% rather than be used in moderation or withdrawn from use slowly.
Cravings have to do with real physical needs of the body. Our instincts and taste buds help guide us to the foods that have the nutrients that we need. Trying to fight cravings with a set menu and controlled portions of foods chosen by someone else or even by yourself but at a different time may not be what your body needs at the moment and may leave the appetite unsatisfied and still seeking something.
Allowing yourself to nibble a variety of things by the bite or two can help to retrain the appetite and taste-buds to recognize the flavors and smells associated with the food that ultimately satisfies – when the bite or two leads to the “aha that is what I want” food, then eat more of that and the appetite memory for that taste and satisfied feeling will be stronger the next time that you have that sort of hunger.
Foods deliver nutrients and the body can learn which foods satisfy certain types of needs – salty snacks deliver sodium which is needed after a sweaty day or may be needed in increased amounts after drinking a lot of diuretic beverages such as coffee, black tea, or alcoholic beverages.
Salt and potassium delivery units are essential after a sweaty workout or a long night. The piece of fruit in the morning with a handful of lightly salted almonds would quench a thirst for electrolytes with more variety of nutrients then the glass of juice and salty piece of bacon found in a common American breakfast would deliver. Both meal examples are only part of a typical breakfast – I’m trying to highlight the potassium and sodium cravings. We need a little every few hours all day long. Meals and snacks help with good hydration and that helps with energy level and regular removal of toxins. Lactic acid build up in muscle tissue can slow down the worker/athlete. Drinking plenty of water and having a salty food with a fruit or juicy vegetable will give the body the replacements that were sweated out or used up by the working muscles. Bonus if the salty food is magnesium rich because the muscles waste that as well. (like nuts )
I know how to eat well and it is still a daily challenge, more due to laziness however and less due to emotional reasons now (I slowly realized that I was stuffing my anger – eating my words with the emotional over eating problem.)
Positive self talk statements
I live actively. My body is strong and healthy.
I have the lung and heart power to do what I need to do every day.
I move fluidly through space.
I have the power to leap joyfully.
I breathe deeply. I enjoy ginger, spicy food, hot soup and tea and saunas because they help my sinuses.
I protect my inner ear from congestion, by avoiding foods that are mucous producing and environments that are dusty, musty and smokey.
I avoid toxic food and environments that make me feel sicker.
I protect myself from sickness.
I rest when I need to rest.
I respect my body’s limits and I don’t push myself past my limits.
I move my body regularly and avoid sitting still for hours.
(I need to start rereading this list – actually I’m going to set my computer up where I can stand in front of it. If the system has problems, then change the system.)
I avoid extremes by planning my time and setting steps towards my ultimate goals.
I plan my day and calmly do what I can towards fulfilling the goals.
I prioritize my goals so that important things are not put off.
I am in control of myself in every way — at all times and in all situations.
Each time that I sit down to eat I remember my goal for health. By eating right, and never giving in I am reaching the weight that I want.
Whether eating in or eating out, I really enjoy not over eating; being overstuffed is uncomfortable.
I never feel the need to finish the food in front of me. I eat only until my hunger is satisfied — and never one bite more.
*I have purposely started a practice of actually spitting out food (into a napkin), if I do notice myself eating from emotional reasons. I stop chewing and spit the food out – just because I made the mistake of starting the angry or sad or anxious eating reaction doesn’t mean that I have to swallow – to continue the emotional over-reaction – and to continue reinforcing the negative habit. Better to break the pattern, even if a napkin is involve.
I eat healthy food for energy and sustenance, not for comfort or boredom.
Starving children on the other side of the world are not going to benefit by my emptying my dinner plate.
Leftovers are for saving for later, not for finishing up even if I’m full.
I put away leftovers and make the meal useful the next day for lunch, dinner, or a healthy snack.
I help starving children by buying less junk food and donating the money.
“One way to weight loss that’s easy and works, is less food on my plate, and less on my fork!” *This and the next statement are from the book, What to Say When You Talk To Yourself, by Shad Helmstetter, PhD. I kept the two statements but am not a proponent of the “eat less” theory of weight loss. Fiber rich foods are bulky and we eat healthier when we eat more bulky fiber rich whole foods. So less chocolate bars or dessert on my plate – yes – but less food altogether is not necessarily a healthier choice.
“Less on my plate means less on my waist.” *** author, Shad Helmstetter’s example – that statement is both true and not true, see above.
When I sit down to eat, at no time do I allow anyone else to influence, tempt, or discourage me in any negative way.
What I eat and the goals I reach, are up to me. And I give no one else the right to hinder or control my success.
I am never, at any time, tempted to take one bite more than I need. I am strong, I am capable of reaching my goal, and I am doing it!
Although others may benefit from my success, I am achieving my weight-loss goals for my own personal reasons — for myself, my life, my future, and my own personal well-being.
I feed my inner child love and nurturing and prepare healthy meals and snacks. Sedating myself with carbohydrates is harmful and not helpful.
I comfort myself with meditation, a warm bath, a hot cup of tea, or music and movement.
***I found the movie “The Celestine Prophecy”[thecelestineprophecymovie.com/] so helpful that I added a few statements from it to my flip-book of cognitive therapy statements. The movie was based on the book, The Celestine Prophecy, by author, James Redfield, Amazon: [amazon.com]
“I let go and Let be.”
“I find energy within and avoid battling others for it.”
“I open up and receive energy.”
“I accept energy from others and the energy is amplified for both of us.”
“Instead of taking energy from others I give it.”
“I follow my instincts and listen to my heart and gut.”
“The guidance within us, leads us towards the heaven within us.
To know this . . . is our destiny.”
Our instincts try to guide us towards what we need but it is up to us to pause and listen.